Monday, October 8, 2012

Can parents set you up for "Failure"?

   When we're kids our parents try to protect us from "failure", but in reality they kind of set us up for it. A parent dream's dream would be to see their child become successful in life, but they may be the cause of the failure. In the book Mindset it mentions the messages a child gets when a parent tells the child the good and bad things about what they did. The parent says, "Wow great job!, Your so smart!", for learning something on their first try is good for giving the child confident but it can also be bad. When the child doesn't get something for the first time then they will think they are not the best anymore. On the other hand, if a child loses in a competition or anything else, and you tell the child it was the judges fault, then they will grow up blaming others for their flaws. These two examples also connect to the growth and fixed mindset. The child might have the growth mindset to learn and grow from the lose but also have the fixed mindset and believe that others are the fault and they can't change that.

   In my own experience when I was younger and did beauty pageants and didn't make it far, my parents would tell me that I was great and I'll get it next time. My parents never told me that it was someone else fault. What my parents told me I took as advice to work harder to actually win a beauty pageant. This too is why I believe I have a growth mindset. I worked at becoming better and learned that I have to work hard for what I want. But at the same time I kind of had the fixed mindset and only believed that the girls who won it was because they were meant to win. This changed when I came in second place and had the chance to go to Disney world when I was ten years-old. I worked hard and finally came to a place where I felt I was a winner. The advice my parents gave me were beneficial, but sometimes other parents may not have the same effect on their children.

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